On the blogger webpage I use I can look over the stats on what is getting hits and what is not, in which country and roughly when. The answers are sort of surprising, and I can use the information to make careful decisions about what to work on. What the numbers indicate is that reviews of indie rock type projects (David Lyudmirsksy’s Their Only Dreams) and attempted art-house directors (Jonathan Whittle-Utter) have ultimately attracted less interest then reviews of either black metal bands or low budget horror cinema.
The most popular blog entry at time of writing is the review of the indie project Their Only Dreams from David Lyudmirsky. Their Only Dreams, David Lyudmirsky- the thing about all of that is that very few people reviewed him at all, so if somebody hears about him, meets him, they Google his name, my review shows up. If you added up the numbers on the other low budget horror films I’ve reviewed, the number of hits on David Lyudmirsky is fractional. For other music reviews, three of the metal bands I wrote about Akitsa, Silencer, and Celtic Frost did relatively well, counted together those blogs got more hits then Their Only Dreams. The math doesn’t lie. More people have wanted to read about black metal. I can’t say I blame them either. Their Only Dreams is absolute garbage. Their Only Dreams- what, he’s on drugs? He’s screwing around with recording equipment? Does anybody care? The only real justification I can come up with for having bothered to write about it is because it is kind of typical of the kind of garbage that people produce today. A lot of people I knew in New York, a lot of people I went to college ended up in such heinously irritating bands, and in many cases they failed completely. It’s an excellent way to blow your trust fund, I don’t know about it doing anything else for anyone. The world often doesn’t take these indie rock band people as seriously as they take themselves, and often it will turn out that a band has nowhere near the size of an audience as you might think. The other thing about that is that song “Adult Contemporary Man” by Their Only Dreams is painful to listen to. If he was trying to be funny he failed, and if he was trying to be serious he’s a joke, but the joke is still not that funny.
The next one after that, very closely, was a blog on of all things, the fact that there was almost a subgenre of films in the 80’s that involved women being raped and impregnated by aliens and monsters of various kinds. Examples of such films are Humanoids from the Deep, Inseminoid, The Beast Within, and Breeders. The blog focuses on The Beast Within and Breeders. Inseminoid I may have to give its own full blog because the director who did that Norman J. Warren did a bunch of other sort of interesting films. His film Satan’s Slave I also reviewed on here. It would appear that many of the people who read the blog on the raped-by-aliens type films found the blog because they where looking up phrases like “raped by a beast”, “raped by a monster”, things like that, which sort of implies to me that people where looking for horror films or pornography that involved those kinds of fantasies. That’s a very odd kind of sexual fetish, those films are also insanely low budget, and the subject matter is kind of gross. I’m a little bit afraid to interact with these people who go looking for films that will indulge such fantasies. I’m kind of picturing someone with hair coming out of their palms as a result of jacking off to sci-fi rape horror. The film Humanoids from the Deep is rather extreme film, if it gave you an erection you probably need help. I think you may have some serious basement dwelling sock fuckers out there reading that kind of stuff, potentially. My angle on it is more just an observation of a cinematic curiosity, but hey, if that’s what people want to read about it, I’ll go there. I recall Inseminoid being particularly hard to sit through, but if people want to read about that, an audience is an audience. I have a high tolerance for grindhouse trash.
There is also the thing with new age failed art film maker Jonathan Whittle-Utter. He started writing in to me, at first I thought he was just a poor filmmaker but he turned out to be out of his mind as well. This is sort of interesting. He is mentioned in three blogs, one of which was popular- the very first blog I did on this site. The other blogs referencing him no one paid any attention to. There have not been any hits as a result of searches done on his name. No one appears to care about him. That’s good because I’m sick of writing about him. All in all, I’d rather be watching Inseminoid.
In general, the message from the statistics seems fairly clear to me. What I take out of it is that the approach of reviewing crap indie rock bands, a fecal attempts at art films by people like Jonathan Whittle-Utter, a documentary filmmaker who makes massive factual inaccuracies like Peter Joseph- these reviews on the surface do okay, but taken with the numbers on horror film reviews and black metal reviews in total, the subject matter has less appeal. If people prefer to read about films like Inseminoid and bands like Akitsa. I’ll write about that. Just because someone has the pretense of being an artist doesn’t necessarily mean anything to anyone else. It only works so well to mock these guys because no one’s heard of them. The voices in Jonathan Whittle-Utter’s head may tell him he’s a genius, but ultimately there’s more interest in films like Inseminoid then in what he does. That’s just how the math works.
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